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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

55 Funny cats quotes

Funny cats quotes 🐱 are the purr-fect way to add a dash of humor and ✨ whisker-twitching joy to your day! Whether you’re a cat lover or just appreciate a good laugh, these feline-inspired quips are sure to tickle your funny bone 😹. From mischievous antics to lazy lounging, our furry friends never fail to amuse. Dive into a world where every meow tells a story and every paw has a punchline! 🐾🎉

Imagine the sarcasm they’d dish out if cats could speak.

Posted onMar 13, 2026Mar 13, 2026

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Posted onJan 22, 2026

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Posted onJan 21, 2026Feb 26, 2026

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

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