193 Funny date quotes — Wordgag ツ

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

2 months ago2 months ago

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

2 months ago2 months ago

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

2 months ago2 months ago

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

2 months ago2 months ago

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

2 months ago2 months ago

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

2 months ago2 months ago

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

3 months ago3 months ago

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

3 months ago3 months ago

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

4 months ago4 months ago

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

4 months ago4 months ago

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

4 months ago4 months ago

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

4 months ago4 months ago

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

4 months ago4 months ago

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

4 months ago4 months ago

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

4 months ago

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

4 months ago4 months ago

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

5 months ago5 months ago

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

5 months ago5 months ago