166 Funny date quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic cat chat-up line! 😺 Who knew exchanging meows could be the key to someone's heart? 🐾 Just make sure you both agree on the purr-fect time for some serious meow-sic and cuddles! 🎵😺 #PurrfectPickupLines"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is brewing their revenge stew with a sprinkle of procrastination! ⏳⚔️ Better watch your back, their revenge might be slow-cooked but it's definitely coming your way! 🤣 #RevengeIsBestServedCold

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

  Commentary:
  "Whoever is dating my ex, better bring a cheat sheet! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #DodgingTheBullet"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old dilemma of modern romance: swiping left on dating app users while secretly being one yourself 🙈. It's a classic case of 'I'm too good for this, but also where else would I find someone as awesome as me?' 😂 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's one way to caffeinate both your coffee and your love life simultaneously! ☕📱 Who knew smooth talk could come with a side of caffeine rush? 😄

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to binge-watching, forget about Netflix & chill – it's all about Prime & panic mode! 🍿😱 Who needs relaxation when you can have heart-pumping suspense with that next-day delivery anxiety, am I right? 😂 #PrimeTimeDrama"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

  Commentary:
  "May her tire get flat with a dude who can't change it. Talk about a road trip gone wrong! 🤣🚗 #KarmaIsReal"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

  Commentary:
  "When you're hungry and anti-social at the same time 🚗🍽️ Don't worry, I'll pass on the family drama and just stick to eating in peace!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a date when you can have a mistake as your companion? 😜💔 Let's just hope they're not high-maintenance! 🤣 #MistakeMaster"

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