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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Going bananas on Slack:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Spotted on Twitch:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Spotted on Slack:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Trending via Instagram:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Just shared via YouTube:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

19 Funny dating app quotes

Funny dating app quotes bring a hilarious twist to swiping right and awkward first messages 😂💬 Whether you’re ghosted, matched, or just scrolling for laughs, these witty lines capture the ups and downs of modern romance 💕📱 Get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even steal a few clever comebacks for your own profile! Ready to swipe with a smile? 😄🔥

New funny dating app quotes 👇

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All funny dating app quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Just shared via Reddit:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Just shared via Messenger:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Spotted on X:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Just landed via Telegram:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going viral on Discord:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Just shared via Reddit:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Live now on X:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

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