Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Spotted on Threads:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Spotted on Discord:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

38 Funny empty quotes

Funny empty quotes 🤔 are like a comedian’s punchline with an unexpected twist 🍋. They whisper tales of silence, leaving you giggling at the irony 🌀. Perfect for when you want to say everything by saying nothing at all 🤫. These quirky gems are a delightful paradox, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone 😄. Dive into the world of humor where less is hilariously more! 😂

New funny empty quotes 👇

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

4 weeks ago

drug, drugs, empty, empty gym, fitness, gym, humor, loss, weight, weight loss
Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

4 weeks ago

activity, dream, dreams, empty, empty house, football, house, indoor, indoor activity, leisure, rain, relaxation, stuff, television, TV
When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

4 weeks ago

annoyed, awkwardness, empty, empty seat, feelings, humor, irony, mixed, mixed feelings, offended, personal, personal space, reaction, seat, situation, social, social awkwardness, social situation, someone, space
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

4 weeks ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm
Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

4 weeks ago

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, clean, clean slate, empty, finance, humor, money, month, new, new month, nice, slate, starting
Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

4 weeks ago

annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, empty, empty seat, everyone, except, full, good, good morning, morning, next, people, right, room, seat, seats, sit, whole
People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

4 weeks ago

days, empty, enough, glove, humor, people, sarcasm, slap
The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

4 weeks ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

4 weeks ago

carb, carbs, craving, emptiness, empty, feels, HBO, humor, meal, Sunday, TV, weekend, wrong
Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

4 weeks ago

alert, brain, emptiness, empty, health, humor, mental, mental health, stomach, wit

For even more funny empty quotes, hit next 👇

All funny empty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Discord this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

38 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Making waves on X:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Making waves on Reddit:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Spotted on TikTok:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

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