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27 Funny empty quotes

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The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.
Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.
The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

New funny empty quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Commentary:
"Exactly! Snacks never betray you, except maybe when they run out 🍕🍿😂."
2 weeks ago
Share →: The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, make sure you know where the bathroom is! 🍋🚽😄"
1 month ago
Share →: Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Commentary:
"When your wallet's doing more meditating than you are! 😅💸🧘‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Commentary:
Oh, the cruel irony of adulting hitting harder than expected! 🙈💁‍♀️ Who knew that "having it all" also meant having all the bills, responsibilities, and empty wine bottles? 🍷🏠 Hang in there, ladies – at least the apartment is nice! 💪😂 #AdultingAtItsFinest
3 months ago
Share →: I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Commentary:
"Who says therapy has to be expensive? Just head to the nearest empty field and let it all out! 🌾🗣️ Don't worry, the cows won't judge. 😂 #ReleaseTheKraken"
3 months ago
Share →: I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Commentary:
Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk's ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide
3 months ago
Share →: My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old conundrum of having a 'spiritually bankrupt' wallet and a 'financially empty' soul! 🤣💸 Perhaps a little retail therapy could fill that void…or at least help us forget about it momentarily! 😉"
3 months ago
Share →: You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Commentary:
"Who needs existential crisis when you have a hangry stomach throwing a tantrum?! 🍔🤣 Remember, a fulfilling life starts with a full plate!"
3 months ago
Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Commentary:
"Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"
3 months ago
Share →: Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive euphoria of an empty laundry basket – a fleeting moment of triumph before it's swiftly filled with the never-ending cycle of clothes again! 🧺⏳ #LifeGoals #LaundryDayAdventures"