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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Trending via Reddit:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Making waves on Twitch:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Making waves on Discord:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on Telegram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Going viral on Threads:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Home » Funny Ever Quotes » Page 6

346 Funny ever quotes

More funny ever quotes 👇

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

0

1 month ago

always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style
Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

0

1 month ago

being, communication, energy, ever, friend, friendship, guilt, horrible, i, interaction, introvert, live, message, open, procrastination, reply, social, social interaction, text, text message, think, three, weeks
Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

0

1 month ago

accidental, accidental selfie, accidentally, bad, bad day, camera, day, ever, front-facing, front-facing camera, funny moment, little, moment, phone, ruined, selfie, technology
Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

0

1 month ago

buy, clothing, ever, experience, fit, fitting, funny observation, huge, humor, observation, pack, perfectly, personal, personal experience, shopping, size, take, think, try, underwear
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

0

1 month ago

accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

0

1 month ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

0

1 month ago

dynamics, ever, friend, friends, friendship, friendship dynamics, group, guy, henchman, humor, less, male, male friend group, meet
I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

0

1 month ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, bet, destroy, ever, extraterrestrial, gathering, humor, i, information, information gathering, just, self-destruction, speculation, think, us, waiting, well
All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

0

1 month ago

body, body image, confidence, desire, ever, good, hope, humor, image, look good, naked, someone, take, wanted
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

0

1 month ago

act, boy, boys, difference, dramatic, ever, eyebrow, gender, gender difference, girl, girls, humor, man, pain, pluck, say, shot

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

38 shares on Threads this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

52 shares on Slack this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

45 shares on Discord this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

95 shares on X this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Spotted on YouTube:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Just landed via Discord:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Shared recently on Threads:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Making waves on Discord:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Activity Log ✨

346 Funny ever quotes

More funny ever quotes 👇

All funny ever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨