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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Trending via Messenger:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Trending via YouTube:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Live now on WeChat:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

358 Funny ever quotes

More funny ever quotes 👇

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

5 days ago

account, bank, bank account, ever, financial, financial joy, great, humor, joy, money, sex, surprise
I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

5 days ago

ever, eye, four, humor, joke, letter, letters, much, tiger, wordplay
I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

5 days ago

always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style
Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

5 days ago

being, communication, energy, ever, friend, friendship, guilt, horrible, i, interaction, introvert, live, message, open, procrastination, reply, social, social interaction, text, text message, think, three, weeks
Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

5 days ago

accidental, accidental selfie, accidentally, bad, bad day, camera, day, ever, front-facing, front-facing camera, funny moment, little, moment, phone, ruined, selfie, technology
Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

5 days ago

buy, clothing, ever, experience, fit, fitting, funny observation, huge, humor, observation, pack, perfectly, personal, personal experience, shopping, size, take, think, try, underwear
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

5 days ago

accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

5 days ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

5 days ago

dynamics, ever, friend, friends, friendship, friendship dynamics, group, guy, henchman, humor, less, male, male friend group, meet
I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

5 days ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, bet, destroy, ever, extraterrestrial, gathering, humor, i, information, information gathering, just, self-destruction, speculation, think, us, waiting, well

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All funny ever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Spotted on Instagram:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Making waves on Reddit:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Going viral on Threads:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Activity Log ✨

358 Funny ever quotes

More funny ever quotes 👇

All funny ever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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