Funny quotes eye

39 Funny eye quotes

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Farting, but with eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025