Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'I'm in charge' quite like twerking with unbreakable eye contact 🍑👀. Just make sure you pick the right audience…unless you want to establish dominance in the awkward department 😂💃"

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' 🌚💼 Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! 👁️✈️ #TravelWoes"

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Commentary:
Haha, talk about a colorful imagination! 🌈👁️🍊 It's as if they were on a vibrant naming spree and decided to mix up eye conditions with breakfast beverages! Just imagine, "Excuse me, is that pink eye in your eye or just some orange juice residue?" 😂

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Commentary:
"Who needs supervillains when we have a superhero this chill? 🦸‍♂️😂 Just imagine a hero casually ironing their cape with laser vision – practicality at its finest! #SoupGoals"

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Commentary:
🐶😒 "My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job. Honestly, if side-eyeing was a paying gig, my furball would be living his best life! Maybe I should start charging him rent for all that sassy attitude." 😄 #UnemployedButUnbothered

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Commentary:
"When they ask 'how was your weekend?' just reply 'better than yours' with a wink 😉 and hold that eye contact like a boss! 😎 Who needs modesty when you've got sass, right? 🤷‍♂️"

Farting, but with eye contact.

Farting, but with eye contact.

Commentary:
Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of trying to rock a fierce smoky eye but ending up looking like you've been crying over onions 😂👁️ Maybe it's not a makeup trend, maybe it's just allergies at work! 🤷‍♀️ #BeautyStruggles"

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic recipe for social disaster! 🍸👀 Just add a splash of liquid courage and a sprinkle of intense gazes, and voilà – you've got yourself a cocktail of chaos! Proceed with caution, folks. 😂🚫"