Funny quotes eye

40 Funny eye quotes

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

2 weeks ago

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

1 month ago

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

1 month ago

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

1 month ago

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

1 month ago

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

2 months ago

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

2 months ago

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

2 months ago

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

3 months ago

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

3 months ago

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

3 months ago

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

3 months ago

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

3 months ago

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

3 months ago

Farting, but with eye contact.

3 months ago

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

3 months ago

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

3 months ago

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

3 months ago

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

3 months ago

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

3 months ago