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25 Funny funny activity quotes

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

1 month ago

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

2 months ago

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

2 months ago

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

3 months ago

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

3 months ago

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

3 months ago

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

3 months ago

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

3 months ago

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

3 months ago

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

3 months ago

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

3 months ago

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

3 months ago

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

3 months ago

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

3 months ago

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

3 months ago

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

3 months ago

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

3 months ago

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

3 months ago

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

3 months ago

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

3 months ago