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93 Funny idea quotes

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

3 months ago

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

3 months ago

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

3 months ago

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

3 months ago

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

3 months ago

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

3 months ago

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

3 months ago

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

3 months ago

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

3 months ago

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

3 months ago

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

3 months ago

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

3 months ago

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

3 months ago

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

3 months ago

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

3 months ago

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

3 months ago

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

3 months ago

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

3 months ago

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

3 months ago

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

3 months ago