Funny quotes observation

214 Funny observation quotes

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Funny Quotes Mar 30, 2025

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Funny Quotes Feb 22, 2025