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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Jan 6, 2026

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Just landed via YouTube:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Going viral on TikTok:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Funny old fashioned quotes

Funny old fashioned quotes bring a timeless charm filled with wit and whimsy 🎩✨. They serve up clever humor from days gone by, making us chuckle while appreciating vintage vibes 🕰️😂. Perfect for adding a dash of old-school sass to your day, these gems remind us that laughter never goes out of style 🎉📜. Ready for a nostalgic laugh? Let’s dive into some classic chuckles!

New funny old fashioned quotes 👇

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

0

1 week ago

anyone, board, board game, encyclopedia, game, game night, night, nostalgia, old fashioned, play, pursuit, retire, retired, retired game, trivia, trivial, Trivial Pursuit
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, attitude, era, gentle, humor, me, nostalgia, old fashioned, personality, vintage
I must retire to my chambers about this.

0

2 months ago

chamber, formal, formal language, humor, i, language, old fashioned, remark, retire, witty, witty remark
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, comedy, decisions, drinking, humor, i, influence, influencers, lifestyle, making, media, old fashioned, social, social media, thanks, under
Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

0

2 months ago

adventure, app, apps, dating, dating app, deleting, donkey, dragon, fantasy, fashioned, humor, i, me, meet, old, old fashioned, rescue, romantic, romantic fantasy, someone, tower, want
I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

0

4 months ago

3, afternoon, cook, day, dinner, grandma, humor, i, old fashioned, relaxation, rest, sit, used, why
We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

0

5 months ago

back, bring, courting, dating, flower, flowers, hell, horse, humor, man, message, modern, modern dating, need, old fashioned, romance, seriously, text, text message, tonight
Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

0

6 months ago

app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace

All funny old fashioned quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

85 shares on Messenger this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

100 shares on X this month:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

84 shares on X this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Breaking via WeChat:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Going bananas on X:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Making waves on Twitch:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Just landed via Discord:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

January is the Monday of the year.

Shared recently on Threads:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Breaking via TikTok:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴