Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y'all could do.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"

Adulthood is saying "but after this week things will slow down a bit" over and over until you die.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Commentary:
Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Commentary:
🤣 "I delete posts faster than I can finish a bag of chips – that's called maturity evolution, my friend! 🧐💻 #NewHourNewMe"

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy weather apps when you have a trusty groundhog predicting the forecast? 🌤️🐿️ Just hope he doesn't see his shadow and ruin your plans! 😂 #GroundhogAlwaysRight"

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Commentary:
"Imagine coming out of a tanning bed looking like a perfectly rotating, golden hotdog 😂🌭! Who needs the beach when you can have this rolling tan experience?! #StayRollinAndTannin"

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Commentary:
"Warning: Professional mischief maker on the loose! 🚨🤪 Watch out, I'll be bringing the chaos and laughs to your doorstep in 3… 2… 1! 🏠😂 #NeighborhoodTroublemaker"

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting! Who knew that a 30-minute lunch break could feel like an eternity compared to the looming 30-year work sentence ahead? 😂 Hang in there, just think of all the extra coffee breaks you'll have in those 30 years! ☕️💪"

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Commentary:
🥁💥 Just drumming away the haters like Phil Collins drums through that iconic drum break in 'In The Air Tonight'! 🥁🎶 Who needs negativity when you've got killer air-drumming skills to show off, right? 😉 Keep rockin' it, and don't let the haters stop your epic solo! 🤘 #DrummingThroughTheDrama

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Commentary:
"Sure, I'd love to witness the chaos and creativity that is your mis-matched sock collection! 🧦🤪 Who needs boring pairs when you can shake things up with a fun and quirky sock ensemble? Just be warned, once you see my collection, you'll never look at matching socks the same way again! 😂"