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19 Funny potato quotes

I have the sex drive of a potato.

3 weeks ago

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

1 month ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

1 month ago

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

3 months ago

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

3 months ago

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

3 months ago

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

3 months ago

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

3 months ago

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

3 months ago

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

3 months ago

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

3 months ago

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

3 months ago

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

3 months ago

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

3 months ago

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

3 months ago

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

3 months ago

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

3 months ago

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

3 months ago

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

3 months ago