32 Funny pretend quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

  Commentary:
  When you spot someone you know and suddenly become an undercover agent on a top-secret mission 🕵️‍♂️🤫😂

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  4 days ago

  Share →: Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

  Commentary:
  Trying to laugh at a video you can't even see properly is the ultimate test of friendship 😂📱🔍

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  1 week ago

  Share →: The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

  Commentary:
  Guess I’ll just keep pretending until it's suddenly Friday! 😜📅✨

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

  Commentary:
  Channeling my inner crime scene investigator while scrubbing away! 🚿🕵️‍♂️🔪 Who knew bathroom cleaning could be such a thriller? 😄

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

  Commentary:
  Just tidied up my room and pampered my skin—I'm basically a life coach now 😂🧹🧴✨

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

  Commentary:
  "Just call me Dr. Chickenstein, performing the most delicious autopsy known to mankind! 🔍🍗😂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'broccoli deception'—Oscar-worthy performances every meal! 🍔🥦😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

  Commentary:
  Oh, birthdays and one night stands – fleeting but memorable moments that we sometimes prefer to forget! 🎉🙈 Growing older can sometimes feel like playing a game where you hit the "ignore" button every time your birthday pops up. 🎂😜 After all, denial is a form of anti-aging, right? Here's to celebrating birthdays the way you want, or not celebrating them at all! 🎈🥳 #ForeverYoungInSpirit

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  4 months ago

  Share →: It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

  Commentary:
  "Isn't it ironic how we have to act out a mini nap performance before the real deal? 😴 I guess it's all part of the theatrical masterpiece called 'Going to Bed'. 🎭 Sweet dreams, folks! 😄"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joy of selective hearing in old age – the ultimate superpower! 🙉💪 Can't wait to conveniently 'miss' all those requests and responsibilities 😉👵 #SeniorCitizenPerks"

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