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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Going bananas on Slack:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Spotted on X:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Going viral on WeChat:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

45 Funny pretend quotes

Funny pretend quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle some laughter into your day 😂✨ Whether you need a clever icebreaker, a quirky caption, or just a good giggle, these made-up gems bring endless fun 🎉🤪 Get ready to brighten your feed and share smiles with friends—because sometimes the best quotes are the ones that never actually happened! 😄💬

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Making waves on YouTube:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Just shared via WeChat:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Just landed via Twitch:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

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