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28 Funny red quotes

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

2 weeks ago

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

2 weeks ago

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

1 month ago

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

2 months ago

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

2 months ago

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

3 months ago

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

3 months ago

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

3 months ago

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

3 months ago

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

3 months ago

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

3 months ago

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

3 months ago

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

3 months ago

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

3 months ago

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

3 months ago

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

3 months ago