49 Funny red quotes

• Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

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  5 hours ago

  absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense

• Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

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  8 hours ago

  color, comparison, ever, frustration, humor, life, metaphor, red, red wine, shirt, spill, white, wine

• Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

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  11 hours ago

  fall, flag, humor, orange, paint, red, red flag, relationship, seasonal, sign, warning, warning sign

• My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

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  14 hours ago

  bad, bad luck, commute, driving, every, frustration, going, hell, hitting, humor, light, luck, red, red light, super, super talent, talent, traffic, wherever

• I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

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  19 hours ago

  annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology

• The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

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  22 hours ago

  color, fact, food, humor, me, naming, observation, onion, purple, purple onion, red, red onion, someone, straight

• Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

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  24 hours ago

  butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship

• My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

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  1 day ago

  add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify

• I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

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  2 days ago

  clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear

• I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

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  2 days ago

  flag, humor, material, quality, red, red flag, relationship, sarcasm

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