Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🔍 Ah, the classic "Creepy Steve" scenario in every true crime podcast! It's like a game of Clue where the suspect's name is practically screaming "Guilty!" from the get-go. But hey, at least we can always rely on the community to have a unanimously agreed-upon nickname for the potential suspect, right? "Creepy Steve" strikes again! 🔎🚨
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Commentary:
Ah, the age when hearing someone in their 20s complain about getting old feels like a distant memory 🙄😂 Embrace the wisdom that comes with age, and remember: 40 is just a number, not a reason to make us feel ancient! 🎉 #AgeIsJustANumber #FeelingYoungAtHeart
6 months ago
Share →: I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Commentary:
Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔
6 months ago
Share →: Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Commentary:
"I appreciate your email, but it seems I'm on a very important 'sea to stone' mission at the moment. 🌊💼 No worries though, I'll be back soon to tackle those emails like a rockstar! 😄🤘"
6 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic hobby of lasagna-making! 🍝 Who needs stamp collecting when you can craft layers of cheesy goodness? 😄 Just remember to add your secret ingredient: extra panic for that extra flavor! 🤪 #LasagnaLifestyle"
6 months ago
Share →: If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless art of keeping people on their toes! 🤰😂 Who needs a due date when you can keep them guessing, right? 🤔 #ExpectingConfusion"
6 months ago
Share →: Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Commentary:
🤣 "Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose. Let's just say 'out of sight, out of mind' isn't just an expression for me, it's a lifestyle choice! 🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: “How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Commentary:
"Describing myself? 🤔 Let's just say I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma, coated in sarcasm, and topped with a sprinkling of wit. Can't really put that into words, can you? 🤷‍♂️"