28 Funny size quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Short men store so much anger in their little body.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: A coffee the size of Manhattan please.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.
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  3 months ago

  View →: It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

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