Funny quotes size

23 Funny size quotes

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025