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150 Funny something quotes

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  • Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

    Commentary:
    🍝 “Pasta: the ultimate comfort food that never ceases to amaze with its endless carb-filled possibilities! It’s the love affair that never fizzles out. Who needs a soulmate when you’ve got noodles, am I right? 😋 #CarbLoverForLife”

  • The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

    Commentary:
    👏👏 The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have felt like a one-man standing ovation auditioning for the role of “Awkward Encourager.” Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and applaud your way through life’s uncertainties! 😄👏

  • Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

    Commentary:
    Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something? 🤨🔪” Looks like someone forgot the memo on cutlery etiquette! Watch out for any unexpected office shenanigans… or salad cravings! 😂 #OfficeAntics #KnifeLover

  • It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

    Commentary:
    “Confession time: Saying good night but staying up? I’m the real MVP of fake bedtime routines! 🦉🛌 #NightOwlSecrets”

  • Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the chaos on the roads if we all had ‘sorry’ horns for our little oopsie moments 🚗🙊 Honk honk, my bad! 😅”

  • Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

    Commentary:
    Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” 🧐… and then proceed to drop a racially charged comment like it’s some kind of tea party game of bingo 🙄🤷‍♂️. Oh, the joys of generational quirks and contradictions! #JustOldPeopleThings 🤣

  • I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

    Commentary:
    “Flirting level: Expert in awkwardness 🤪 Who needs pickup lines when you’ve got a collection of bizarre statements? Just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks! 🍝😅 #AwkwardlyCharming”

  • Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

    Commentary:
    “Menstruation: the totally Lynchian experience where your body decides to host its very own Twin Peaks marathon every month! 🩸🕰️🦉 #StrangeButTrue”

  • I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the irony of doom scrolling in the age of knights and dragons! 🐉📜 I can almost picture a medieval town crier announcing, ‘Hear ye, hear ye! Prepare thyselves for the impending doom scroll!’ 🗡️📱 #MedievalProblems”

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