118 Funny start quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

  Commentary:
  "Airport security really knows how to spot the most unusual things! 🤑💸 Maybe they should start investigating the price tags instead of the travelers! 😆✈️ #AirportRipoff"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

  Commentary:
  "Netflix, are you spying on me or what? 🕵️‍♂️ Not even my mom keeps track of my laundry progress! 🧺 Maybe the real binge-watching challenge is not finishing a series but finishing the laundry… 🤔🧦 #LaundryDayDilemma"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, if you start with, 'It's crazy to think…' you're basically getting a free pass to unleash your inner conspiracy theorist 🤪👽 So go on, let your imagination run wild and blame the aliens or the government for everything! Just don't forget your tinfoil hat 😜🛸"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

  Commentary:
  "Next time you're running late for a dental appointment, just imagine your dentist getting ready to work on your teeth with a very determined look 😬. Maybe that'll motivate you to be on time – can't risk having your dentist play guessing games with which tooth to drill! ⏰⌛️😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'surprise, you're not getting away that easily!' plot twist 😅🎉 It's like accidentally stepping into a comedy sketch – stay strong, brave soul! 🎈 #UnexpectedGuest #PartyPlotTwist"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, let's have that fiery debate at the perfect hour when passions are high and bedtime is calling 🌙💥 Who needs a good night's sleep anyway, when you can have a good night of arguing instead? 😂 #DebateNightOwl"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

  Commentary:
  "I agree! It would be entertaining to hear our iPhones pleading, 'Please, plug me in! I promise to be a good device and not freeze on you again!' 📱😂 #LowBatteryDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs expensive gifts when you have family drama to entertain you? 🎁💥 Let the battle of wills begin, and say goodbye to that holiday shopping list! 😂👊"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

  Commentary:
  Well, they do say that finding a new husband can be quite the workout! 💪😂 Who needs the gym when you can just go husband-hunting instead? 🏃‍♀️🔍 #NewHusbandNewMe

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the aliens showing up at dawn like, 'Surprise! 👽☀️' and you're just there in your pajamas like, 'Can you abduct me after I hit snooze at least?' Good morning, universe! 😂☕️"

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