118 Funny start quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone is ready to sweep away the drama like last year's confetti! 🎉 Better apologize now or prepare for a year of being ghosted faster than you can say 'resolution'! 🚫✨ #NewYearNewMe"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

  Commentary:
  🌲🗣️💬 "If you're ever lost in the woods, just remember: starting a debate about politics is guaranteed to summon help faster than shouting 'help!' 🏕️🤔💥"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

  Commentary:
  Looks like even the polar bear has hit snooze on winter! ❄️🐾 Time to give it a pep talk and maybe a cup of hot cocoa. Remember, even polar bears need a little TLC to hit the road in style! 🚗😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

  Commentary:
  "Who said being the bigger person is the only way to go? Sometimes you just gotta embrace your inner guard dog and start barking at people 🐶🗣️ Who's ready to join the pack?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, a newbie in the world of behaving! 🤔 How about starting with the classic 'Don't chew with your mouth open' or the always popular 'Don't talk with your mouth full'? 💁‍♂️ Remember, behaving isn't just about following rules, it's about making the world a better (and less cringeworthy) place! 😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

  Commentary:
  "Let me reiterate: If you start a sentence with 'Let me reiterate…', we're already in a cycle of repetition as endless as a broken record 🔄🙉 #IgnoredAgain"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

  Commentary:
  Oh, fantastic idea! Let's turn up the volume on clarity! 🔊🗣️ Just a friendly heads-up – my decibel level may fluctuate depending on your accusations. Consider it a crash course in vocal dynamics! 🤣🎤 #AmplifyTheDifference

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

  Commentary:
  "Planning a road trip? Don't forget to bring a positive friend and a negative friend along for the ride! 🚗💨 That way, you'll always have a jump start when things go downhill… or uphill, depending on your friends' moods! ⚡😄 #GoodVibes #RoadTripLife"

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