Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Spotted on Instagram:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Just landed via Slack:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Just landed via Reddit:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Making waves on Telegram:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

67 Funny time management quotes

Funny time management quotes are like little nuggets of wisdom with a twist of humor that can turn your hectic schedule into a laugh fest 🕒😂. They remind us that even in the chaos of deadlines and to-do lists, it’s okay to chuckle at our time-juggling antics. Perfect for a mood lift, these witty one-liners about procrastination, multitasking, and the race against the clock will have you grinning while you plan your day ⏰😄!

New funny time management quotes 👇

For even more funny time management quotes, hit next 👇

All funny time management quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

68 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

34 shares on X this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Trending via Pinterest:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Making waves on Messenger:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Just landed via Discord:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Just landed via Twitch:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Trending via Facebook:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

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