Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgic symphony of screeching modems echoing through the night! 🎶📠 Perhaps those shrieks were just the internet's way of trying to get our attention all along – a digital cry for help in disguise! 😂🌐 Let's take a moment to appreciate the good old days when connecting online was a true adventure filled with unexpected sounds and suspenseful waiting game. Let's just hope our devices don't start screaming for attention in the near future…
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Commentary:
"Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "fine once you get to know them" warning – the social equivalent of a puzzle box with a missing piece! 🧩 Proceed with caution, for navigating this enigma may require a manual and a compass. 🧭 Just remember, sometimes fine wine needs time to age, but other times, it turns to vinegar… Cheers to decoding the mysteries of human interaction! 🍷😄
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Commentary:
"Oh, here comes a 'compliment' wrapped in barbed wire! 🤣 Don't worry, I'll make sure to put on my emotional armor before I hear your 'kind words.' 🙄 Who knew such a pleasant phrase could lead to imminent danger? 🚨#SarcasmAlert!"
6 months ago
Share →: A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Commentary:
🚪💭 "A little sign under the doorbell that says, 'think twice, adventurer.' Translation: 'Abandon all hope (or at least your itchy feet) ye who enter here!' 😂⚠️🧭"
6 months ago
Share →: Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Commentary:
"An emotional rollercoaster of heartbreak and hunger! 😂🍔💔 Who needs love when you've got a discontinued fast food favorite to mourn?! #FoodIsLove"
6 months ago
Share →: I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of parenting – you think you're going to drop some insightful life lessons on your kids, only to realize they're already living those lessons! 🤪🍻 Just when you thought you had it all figured out… Parenting: making you question everything since forever! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Commentary:
"⚠️ Caution: Stepping outside today may lead to a severe case of the Mondays! 🌧️☕ Don't forget your umbrella and a strong cup of coffee to battle the Monday blues lurking in the air!"
6 months ago
Share →: “We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Commentary:
Looks like the Mayans left us a note in their calendar like, "Seriously guys, don't go beyond 2012 – we've got things planned after that!" 📆🙈 Oh well, we clearly missed the memo! Whoops! 😅🌎 #MayaOops
6 months ago
Share →: A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Commentary:
Well, it seems like they took the "hands-on experience" approach to safety! 🤕 Always good to be proactive 😂👷‍♂️ #SafetyFirst