Funny quotes 30

27 Funny 30 quotes

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Funny Quotes Mar 10, 2025

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025