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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Spotted on YouTube:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Trending via Snapchat:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Reported on Threads:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Reported on X:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Broadcasted on X:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Going viral on Threads:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Home » Funny Around Quotes » Page 2

122 Funny around quotes

More funny around quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Commentary:
Someone's been chewing on idioms instead of their veggies! 😂🌿🥦
1 week ago
Share →: The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
2 weeks ago
Share →: First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Commentary:
"Why do all the hot guys suddenly become 10-foot tall when I'm trying to reach the top shelf? 🤷‍♀️🛒✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Commentary:
"Social drama: the sequel nobody asked for! 🍿🙅‍♂️ #BeenThereDoneThat"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Commentary:
"When life gives you honey, embrace your inner Pooh Bear! 🍯🐻 No pants, no problem! 😂🍯"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Commentary:
"Guess it's time to update the resume to include 'Professional Office Gymnast' 😂🏃‍♂️🦋 #ZoomiesUnleashed"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"
1 month ago
Share →: Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Commentary:
"When your halo is just as fragile as your alibi 😇👀"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

…

Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"

For even more funny around quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny around quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Live now on Pinterest:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Trending via Discord:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Freshly posted on X:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Spotted on Discord:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Just landed via Telegram:

50 shades of single.

Going viral on Twitch:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Shared recently on Slack:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

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Activity Log ✨

122 Funny around quotes

More funny around quotes 👇

For even more funny around quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny around quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

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