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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Live now on X:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Trending via Messenger:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Trending via WeChat:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Just shared via Discord:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Spotted on X:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

209 Funny daily quotes

Funny daily quotes shine a light on the hilarious routines, mishaps, and mini-meltdowns we experience every single day! 😂📆 Whether it’s struggling to get out of bed, pretending coffee is a personality, or wondering how it’s only Tuesday, these quotes remind us that the daily grind is full of comedy gold. Because let’s face it — if we don’t laugh at our daily chaos, who will? 😆☕🌀

New funny daily quotes 👇

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

1 week ago

adjustment, after, civilian, civilian life, coming, daily, daily life, entertainment, home, homecoming, humor, i, life, movie, sometimes, struggle
Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

1 week ago

another, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, meaningless, outlook, pessimism, sarcasm, suffering, tomorrow, us
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

1 week ago

daily, daily struggle, day, exist, existence, fact, humor, i, irritation, least, me, once, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, struggle
Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

1 week ago

browsing, daily, daily routine, humor, media, morning, paper, routine, social, social media, story, viewing
Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

1 week ago

anything, care, daily, daily struggle, day, dialogue, every, frustration, humor, i, idiot, inner, inner dialogue, me, own, self-awareness, self-care, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, single, struggle, take, why
And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

1 week ago

age, daily, daily life, day, every, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, just, learned, learning, life, memory, new, old, something, today
I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

1 week ago

bed, daily, daily life, frustration, going, going to bed, government, life, politics, sick, thinking, thought, waking, waking up
Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

1 week ago

daily, daily life, dark, dark humor, fantasy, humor, life, lord, Lord of the Rings, modern, modern life, Mordor, rings
You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

1 week ago

behind, chore, daily, daily task, day, every, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, still, task
People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

1 week ago

6, daily, daily routine, day, entertainment, every, habit, hours, humor, irony, movie, people, phone, phones, routine, screen, screen time, scroll, time, watch, watching, watching habit, wonder

For even more funny daily quotes, hit next 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

33 shares on X this month:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

49 shares on Threads this month:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

84 shares on Slack this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

24 shares on Threads this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Going viral on Instagram:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

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