61 Funny everyday quotes

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew shade and proximity could be the secret to midlife bliss? 🏆🚗🌳 #GoldMedalParking"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hand towel when you've got a purrsonal assistant? 😂🐱👐"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

  Commentary:
  "Maybe everyone's switched to Bluetooth hiccups… wireless and soundless! 🤫😂📡"

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

  Commentary:
  "Couples who scroll together, roll together! 📱❤️ #RelationshipGoals 😂"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I need a leaf blower, but for people.

  Commentary:
  "Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

  Commentary:
  "Thought I'd left that drama back in 'don't we know better by now?' 🙄😂🎢"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

  …

  Commentary:
  "Oh great, the parking lot is hosting a reunion and my car wasn't invited! 🚗🙄🎉"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

  Commentary:
  "Sometimes I just want a dinner fairy to appear and say 'Tacos it is!' 🌮✨ #AdultingStruggles #SendHelp"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

  Commentary:
  "Quick, someone call Ripley's Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

  Commentary:
  "Every time I see myself on the self-checkout camera, I wonder if they expect me to steal some self-confidence! 😂🛒 #CaughtLookingSuspicious"

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