Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

3 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Live now on Twitch:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Just landed via TikTok:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just landed via Telegram:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Going viral on Twitch:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Going viral on Discord:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Just landed via YouTube:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Home » Funny Everyday Quotes

85 Funny everyday quotes

Funny everyday quotes 😂✨ are like the unexpected spice in your coffee ☕️—surprising but oh-so-delightful! Whether you’re navigating the chaos of spilled milk 🥛 or the drama of mismatched socks 🧦, these gems turn daily mishaps into laughter-filled adventures. So buckle up and let’s transform life’s little quirks into a comedy show where you’re the star! 🌟

New funny everyday quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Commentary:
Trying to understand this conversation is like finding the unicorn of laundry skills! 🦄🧺😂
4 days ago
Share →: Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Commentary:
That's one wrinkled board that's giving Alanstis Morissette a run for her money! 😂✨ #IronyOnAnotherLevel
5 days ago
Share →: One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert – When you start hoarding boxes like they're limited edition collectibles! 📦😂📦
5 days ago
Share →: Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Commentary:
Every time I wait in front of those doors, I feel like I'm auditioning for an invisible friend's club! 🚪🤦‍♂️😂
5 days ago
Share →: My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Commentary:
Story of my life—it's a real skill losing things while still holding them! 🙈📱🕵️‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
6 days ago
Share →: Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Commentary:
When you're on the throne but forgot your crown 👑🚽🤣
6 days ago
Share →: I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
6 days ago
Share →: Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Commentary:
When you find out that your neighbors have been decluttering, not downsizing their trash cans 😂🗑️🚗
1 week ago
Share →: Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆‍♂️

For even more funny everyday quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny everyday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

3 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Live now on Telegram:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Trending via Pinterest:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴