185 Funny myself quotes

• Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

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  5 days ago

  chores, dish, dishes, garbage, health, humor, laundry, load, mental, mental health, myself, self-care, take, unfortunately, vacuum, wash

• I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

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  5 days ago

  humor, joke, myself, parody, saving, self-love, sexuality, vibrator

• When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

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  5 days ago

  bachelor’s, bachelor’s degree, ChatGPT, degree, education, feel, got, graduation, humor, i, intelligence, myself, remind, self-deprecating, study, stupid, technology

• The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

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  6 days ago

  bad, bad day, care, coping, coping mechanism, day, ever, humor, i, indulgence, know, march, mechanism, myself, problem, self, self-care, stop, treat, treat yourself, yourself

• Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

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  6 days ago

  being, catalyst, change, current, doing, exist, future, future self, growth, hard, hard thing, i, improvement, just, me, motivation, myself, personal, personal growth, realization, self, self-improvement, thing, things, version

• Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

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  6 days ago

  explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work

• “Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

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  6 days ago

  after, better, communication, confession, hit, humor, i, left, media, message, mistake, myself, regret, self-talk, send, social, social media, texting, things, think, unsaid

• It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

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  6 days ago

  attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want

• “I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

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  6 days ago

  buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where

• I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

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  6 days ago

  am, buying, care, happier, happiness, i, love, me, much, myself, peace, retail, retail therapy, self, self-care, shopping, therapy, things, works

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