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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Trending via Reddit:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Just shared via Snapchat:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Trending via Twitch:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Live now on Instagram:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Trending via Telegram:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

24 Funny pet behavior quotes

Funny pet behavior quotes capture the hilarious moments when our furry friends act totally unexpected 🐶🐱 From epic zoomies to mischievous antics, these playful sayings remind us why pets are the ultimate comedians of the animal kingdom 😂🎉 Get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even nod in agreement as you explore the quirks that make every day with pets an unforgettable adventure! 🐾❤️

New funny pet behavior quotes 👇

For even more funny pet behavior quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pet behavior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Facebook this month:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

16 shares on Slack this month:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Just landed via X:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Trending via Threads:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

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