43 Funny spend quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs relaxation when you can have a raptor-inspired adventure? 🦖 Just don't forget your T-Rex repellent! 🏝️ #DesperateTimesCallForDinoVacation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

  Commentary:
  It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family 🤔 But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" 😂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #FamilyApprovalNeeded

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

  Commentary:
  "Spending $20: the classic tale of good intentions and sneaky temptations 🤑💸 Just like a game of 'would you believe,' your wallet always ends up saying 'Oh, I believe it, all right!' 🙈💸 #OopsIDidItAgain"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magic of mobile time dilation! 🕒😄 Who knew 10 minutes could stretch into 3 hours of endless scrolling and funny cat videos? 📱🐱 Sweet dreams and strong Wi-Fi signals to all!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a ticket to the zoo when you have a front-row seat to the wild antics of your colleagues in the office jungle! 🐒🦁 Save money, stay entertained, and perhaps even learn a thing or two about the fascinating species that is 'the co-worker.' 🤣 #OfficeSafari"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs groceries when you can have a full tank of gas to drive away from your hunger pains? 🚗💨 #GasIsTheNewGroceries"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

  Commentary:
  "If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I'd probably just spend it on more bacon 🥓. After all, why let haters ruin a good bacon-filled moment when you can savor that sizzle instead! 💁‍♂️ #BaconOverBullies"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, life is too short to chase people who don't make an effort to be in your life. 🕒✂️ Surround yourself with those who value your time like it's a limited edition snack – available for a good time, not a long time! 🍿😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a calculator when you have insomnia? 💤➗💭 You become a human mathematician, crunching numbers in your head all night trying to figure out the elusive equation of sleep time. Just remember, counting sheep does not count as a valid mathematical method! 🐑😂 #SleeplessStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

  Commentary:
  I'm all for a good thrill, but I draw the line at becoming a human bumper sticker! 🚗💥🤕 Just imagine the hospital food and questionable fashion choices as you recover… But hey, at least you'll have a riveting story to tell at parties! 🏥😅 #LifeGoals

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