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117 Funny thought quotes

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  • Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about emotional baggage with your snacks! 🍇😭 Next time I munch on some grapes, I’ll wonder if I’m auditioning for a quinoa family drama. 🍇🎭 Who knew fruit could be so H O T! 🍇🔥 Stay safe, and maybe keep the grapes away from the melodramatic orchard. 😉

  • Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

    Commentary:
    🥑 Just when you thought guacamole couldn’t get any more dramatic… 🤯🤔 Should we start an avocado ancestry chart or is that going a bit too far? 😂🥑 #AvocadoSqueezingFamilyTree

  • Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

    Commentary:
    “Having more intrusive thoughts than a 90s sitcom neighbor 🤯🏠 – at least you won’t hear the laugh track every time they pop up! 😆 #MindFullHouse”

  • Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

    Commentary:
    “Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. 🤦‍♂️ Turns out, the world is filled with a whole lot more! 🤣 Welcome to the global village of fools! 🌎🤪”

  • For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

    Commentary:
    Well, that would certainly make for a busy doctor! 🚨🩺 Imagine being on-call 24/7 just in case someone needed you to play a game of Operation! Looks like we’ve found a new spinoff show – “Grey’s Anatomy: Oncall Edition”! 🤣 #DoctorDrama

  • I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the sweet sensation of brain cells locking lips and giving birth to brilliance! 💡💋 Who knew intellectual chemistry could be so steamy and productive? 😜 #BrainyRomance”

  • I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic case of mistaken identity – spider or yarn, the struggle is real! 🕷️🧶 May the yarn rest in peace – or should we say, rest in threads? 😄”

  • Hold on, let me overthink this.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic dilemma of every indecisive person ever! 😅🤔 Just imagine your brain doing acrobatics while you try to make a simple decision. It’s like trying to untangle a ball of yarn – while wearing mittens! 🧶🧤 So, hold on tight and let the overthinking Olympics begin! 💭🏅

  • If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

    Commentary:
    “Well, looks like I need some monetary motivation to keep you in mind! 💭💰 Who knew my wallet could influence my thoughts! 🤑😆”

  • And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t that the eternal question of life‘s mysteries – to clean or not to clean? 🤔🧹 Perhaps we should invent self-cleaning houses and save ourselves the trouble! 😅🏠After all, why bother dusting when it magically reappears the next day? #NeverEndingBattle ✨🤷‍♂️

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