My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.” Posted on5 days ago
My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair. Posted on6 days ago
Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks. Posted on7 days ago
What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch? Posted on1 week ago
Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move. Posted on1 week ago
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park. Posted on2 weeks ago
I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf. Posted on2 weeks ago
Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents. Posted on2 weeks ago
Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings. Posted on2 weeks ago
You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Posted on2 weeks ago
I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time. Posted on2 weeks ago