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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Trending via Facebook:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Just landed via TikTok:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Trending via X:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just shared via Facebook:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Spotted on Facebook:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Just landed via Facebook:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Shared recently on Messenger:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Going viral on Instagram:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

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