Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Live now on Instagram:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Trending via Discord:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Trending via Instagram:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Funny convince quotes

Funny convince quotes are your secret weapon to charm, win debates, and sprinkle humor into every conversation 😄✨ Whether you’re trying to persuade friends or lighten the mood, these witty lines bring laughs and clever twists that make convincing a breeze 🎉🗣️ Get ready to master the art of persuasion with a smile and a giggle! 😂🤝

New funny convince quotes 👇

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

7 hours ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year
There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

2 months ago

advice, convince, game, Game of Thrones, important, listen, persuasion, recommendation, show, someone, thrones, time, TV, TV Show, watch
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

2 months ago

apology, bathroom, convince, dryer, excuse, exist, existence, funny excuse, hand, hand dryer, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry, trying
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

2 months ago

convince, house, husband, live, love, marriage, me, relationship, same, situation, situationship, trying
Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, bad, convince, eyesight, font, font size, going, humor, just, means, self-deception, size, small, too, trying, yourself
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

2 months ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

2 months ago

awkwardness, convince, date, Godzilla, humor, idea, invite, monster, plus, plus one, relationship, rom-com, struggle, struggles, wedding
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

3 months ago

comparison, convince, criticism, example, family-run, humor, i, irony, korea, me, north, North Korea, politics, quality, should, sign, understand
It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

3 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong

All funny convince quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

41 shares on X this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a very active anti-social life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Trending via X:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Trending via TikTok:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Going viral on Instagram:

Love is in the air fryer.

Spotted on YouTube:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

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