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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Seen just now on Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Live now on Telegram:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Live now on Threads:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Just landed via Discord:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Going bananas on Threads:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Spotted on Slack:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Home » Funny Convince Quotes

Funny convince quotes

Funny convince quotes are your secret weapon to charm, win debates, and sprinkle humor into every conversation 😄✨ Whether you’re trying to persuade friends or lighten the mood, these witty lines bring laughs and clever twists that make convincing a breeze 🎉🗣️ Get ready to master the art of persuasion with a smile and a giggle! 😂🤝

New funny convince quotes 👇

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

0

4 weeks ago

advice, convince, game, Game of Thrones, important, listen, persuasion, recommendation, show, someone, thrones, time, TV, TV Show, watch
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

0

2 months ago

apology, bathroom, convince, dryer, excuse, exist, existence, funny excuse, hand, hand dryer, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry, trying
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

0

2 months ago

convince, house, husband, live, love, marriage, me, relationship, same, situation, situationship, trying
Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, bad, convince, eyesight, font, font size, going, humor, just, means, self-deception, size, small, too, trying, yourself
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

0

2 months ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, convince, date, Godzilla, humor, idea, invite, monster, plus, plus one, relationship, rom-com, struggle, struggles, wedding
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

0

2 months ago

comparison, convince, criticism, example, family-run, humor, i, irony, korea, me, north, North Korea, politics, quality, should, sign, understand
It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

0

2 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

0

3 months ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year

All funny convince quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Avocado is just green butter.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can reach me by butterfly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,764

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Trending via Telegram:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Breaking via Telegram:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Going bananas on X:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Making waves on Messenger:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Just landed via X:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Going viral on TikTok:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

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