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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Dec 30, 2025

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Breaking via YouTube:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Just landed via Discord:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Going viral on Twitch:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

588 Funny day quotes

Funny day quotes are here to add a dash of humor to any kind of day, whether it’s a Monday or a “meh” Wednesday! 😜🌞 From surviving bad days to celebrating the good ones, these quotes remind us that sometimes all you need is a funny outlook to turn a regular day into something special. Bring on the laughs — whatever day it is! 😂📆☕

New funny day quotes 👇

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

0

1 hour ago

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

0

1 hour ago

bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

0

1 day ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

0

1 day ago

advice, challenge, day, frustration, game, good, good day, having, humor, play, puzzle, today, word, word game, Wordle
The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

0

1 day ago

aging, alarm, best, day, day off, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, routine, same, sleep, time, wake, waking, waking up
It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

0

4 days ago

boxing, Boxing Day, called, day, eating, holiday, humor, joke, spend
The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

0

4 days ago

after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning
Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

2

6 days ago

away, Christmas, day, disappointment, feel, gift, give, giving, heart, heartbreak, humor, imagine, next, relationship, someone, stupid
Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

0

2 weeks ago

4, 4 p.m., appointment, day, introvert, nothing, p.m., ruin, ruins
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

2 weeks ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,800

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Making waves on Messenger:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Trending via YouTube:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Spotted on X:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Live now on X:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴