25 Funny fail quotes

• Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

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  4 hours ago

  accident, accident humor, accidentally, blanket, clumsy, describe, face, fail, humor, i, know, life, myself, pull, punch, relatable, self-harm, trying, while

• I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

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  13 hours ago

  blood, blood moon, bro, eclipse, fail, humor, i, kiss, moon, romantic, romantic fail, under, whatever

• I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

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  15 hours ago

  cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine

• Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

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  1 week ago

  authority, boot, clean, crush, even, fail, humor, lick, metaphor, people, problem, sarcasm, still, submission, understand, understanding

• Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

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  1 month ago

  AI, AI evolution, apocalypse, Cloudflare, ever, evolution, fail, humor, imagine, internet, internet outage, joke, kill, outage, survival, tech, tech fail, technology, thing, trying, us

• Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

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  2 months ago

  cool, course, education, fail, humor, insult, job, me, most, pass, professor, real, sarcasm, student

• Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

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  2 months ago

  app, app glitch, awkward, awkward moment, call, calling, enough, experience, Facetime, fail, funny incident, glitch, happen, i, incident, moment, much, page, reservation, restaurant, restaurants, started, stress, technology, technology fail, user, user experience, want

• Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

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  2 months ago

  anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well

• I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

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  2 months ago

  dignity, exercise, fail, hamstring, humor, i, injury, once, tried, yoga

• If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

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  2 months ago

  50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test

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