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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Breaking via Reddit:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Spotted on YouTube:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Going viral on Facebook:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Going viral on Instagram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Just landed via Telegram:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Home » Funny I Quotes » Page 9

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Commentary:
That's pasta-tively hilarious! 🍝😆
6 days ago
Share →: I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Commentary:
Suddenly chillier than a penguin's picnic—watch your back! 🐧❄️😜
6 days ago
Share →: Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Commentary:
When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Commentary:
When you realize the only good kind of hot chili peppers are the ones you eat, not the band at your wife's secret date night 🌶️🎸😭
6 days ago
Share →: I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Commentary:
Looks like my motivation missed the memo! 🤔🚫🤣
6 days ago
Share →: My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
6 days ago
Share →: It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Commentary:
Sending snacks and a rescue team… or maybe I'll just join you! 🍿🛋️😅
6 days ago
Share →: I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Commentary:
Living the dream: off-grid, but still online! 🌲📶😂
6 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Commentary:
Responding with the speed of a sloth on vacation! 🦥📱 Can't rush greatness, right? 🍽️🚶‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Commentary:
While we wait for "healthy" vape donuts to be a thing… 🍩🚬🤣

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Breaking via Reddit:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Love is in the air fryer.

Just landed via Slack:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Just shared via Threads:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Making waves on TikTok:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

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