Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Live now on X:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Making waves on Discord:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Shared recently on Threads:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Spotted on Twitch:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Trending via Slack:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

1409 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

For even more funny life quotes, hit next 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

67 shares on Slack this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a slur for people that use AI.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Trending via X:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Spotted on Facebook:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴