253 Funny man quotes

• “What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

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  1 week ago

  affection, dealer, drug, drug dealer, family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hand, humor, joke, love, man, money

• The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

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  1 week ago

  80s, after, bands, cat, cats, decade, hearing, humor, man, music, naming, nostalgia, predator, problem, problems, wild

• A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

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  1 week ago

  advice, bees, better, explaining, fly, honey, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, man, metaphor, once, patience, said, shit, time, waste, wisdom, wise

• Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

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  1 week ago

  cool, cool evening, emotional, emotional tension, evening, everyone, humor, interaction, irony, just, lot, man, otherwise, resentment, sarcasm, social, social interaction, tension

• I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

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  1 week ago

  cold, comedy, dramatics, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, illness, man, man cold, sarcasm, story, tell, world

• Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

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  1 week ago

  confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time

• Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

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  1 week ago

  accusation, actually, anger, being, frustration, guilt, humor, irony, male, man, nobody, sarcasm, something

• A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

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  1 week ago

  bad, compliment, confidence, dating, flirting, humor, humor quote, insta, looking, man, me, media, message, said, social, social media

• Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

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  1 week ago

  alone, attitude, candle, candle in the wind, humor, independence, just, leave, life, living, man, me, personal, personal space, space, wind

• Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

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  2 weeks ago

  bandwidth, boundary, busy, evolution, growing, growth, health, humor, independence, man, mental, mental health, neural, neural pathway, new, opinion, pathway, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-care, sorry, space, strangers, too

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