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127 Funny man quotes

Trending Funny Man Quotes 🔥

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?
It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.
Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?
Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.
If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

More funny man quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old battle of the closet space! 🧥👗 Sounds like marriage is all about compromise…and finding creative storage solutions in cargo pockets! 🤣🙈 #MarriageStruggles"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that in Ancient Rome, men used to carry their personal belongings in a small pouch called a 'loculus', which was usually worn on the left side? 🕰️👛
5 months ago
Share →: You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Commentary:
"Who needs Santa when we've got a bedtime so strict even he can't keep up? 🎅🕘 #SantaVsTheCurfew"
5 months ago
Share →: Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Commentary:
"Seriously, chefs must think they're in a vegetable race or something! 🏃‍♂️ Slow down, Chef Speedy Gonzalez! Enjoy the onion-chopping journey, don't just sprint to the finish line! ⏳😄 #ChopChill"
5 months ago
Share →: At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Commentary:
"Who said you can't have popcorn-worthy drama even from the afterlife? 👀🍿 #DramaFromTheGrave 💁‍♀️💀"
5 months ago
Share →: Weddings should have a worst man.

Commentary:
"Who needs a best man when you can have a worst man to spice things up? 🤵🏻‍♂️💥 Just imagine the awkward speeches and chaotic dance moves. Bring on the drama, I say! 🕺🏻😄 #WorstManForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Commentary:
"Behind every hilarious man, there's a woman perfecting her eye-roll game like a champ. 🙄😂 #EyeRollQueen #ComedyCoupleGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Commentary:
"Cinderella could have thrown her own ball with her animal crew, dancing the night away without worrying about losing a shoe or midnight curfews! 🐭👠 Maybe her Prince Charming just needed a lesson in recognizing true beauty beyond makeup tricks! 💄😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Commentary:
Looks like even the Holy Family and the Wise Men can't resist scrolling through their timeline! 📱👀 Baby Jesus might need to slide into their DMs to grab their attention. 😂 #ModernNativity #TechSavvyWiseMen
5 months ago
Share →: Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old rite of passage for manhood: mastering the art of energy conservation! 💪🔥 Who knew that the true test of maturity was in battling the gas bill monster and reigning in the urge to turn your home into a sauna for penguins! 🐧💸 #AdultingLikeAPro"
5 months ago
Share →: If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of silence! 🤔 If a man stays quiet, he's seen as thoughtful and reflective. But if a woman stays quiet, well, brace yourself, because the storm is brewing! ⚡️💁‍♀️ Watch out for that silent thunder, folks! ⛈️😄"