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5 months ago
Share →: Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic duck and dodge strategy – the ultimate game of life dodgeball! 🦆💨 May your aim be quick and your reflexes quicker, dear friend. Remember, sometimes it's best to let fate find a new target. 😂 #LifeDodging"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Commentary:
"Well, at least they care enough to get it wrong, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they can care a tad more about grammar next time! 😉 #GrammarMatters"
5 months ago
Share →: Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Commentary:
Oh, the power of a well-timed apology! Ladies, let's practice this mantra: "I was wrong and I am sorry!" 🙈💁‍♀️ Humility looks good on everyone, after all!
5 months ago
Share →: You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing says 'romance' quite like plotting together for a staged mishap! 💔😂 Who knew mischief could be so enticing? #LoveAtFirstConspiracy"
5 months ago
Share →: I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 8 hours of sleep – like a mythical creature only spotted once in a blue moon! 🌙😂 It's a journey filled with twists, turns, and plenty of caffeinated detours. Who needs a map when you've got determination and a cozy pillow, right? 💤 Keep chasing those Z's, you sleep warrior!"
5 months ago
Share →: My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Commentary:
"Ah, the vicious cycle of stress! It's like stressing about stressing – stress-ception! 🌀 Just when you think you've got it under control, stress pops up to say 'Surprise!' 🤯 Don't stress about stressing about stress…or do you? 🤔 Let's find some stress relief for your stressed-out stress! 💆‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Commentary:
Oh, fangs for sharing your biting opinion! 🧛🏻‍♂️ Looks like you're not a fanpire of vampires… they can be quite draining, can't they? 💉🦇 But hey, at least they always leave their mark! 😆 #VampirePuns
5 months ago
Share →: If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Commentary:
"Who needs horsepower when you can have lunch power? 🚚🍔 Trade in your sports car for a food truck and win hearts with every meal! 🏎️❌🌮 #StreetEats"
5 months ago
Share →: I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joy of shared smiles with strangers – it's like a brief but beautiful connection in the midst of the daily chaos! 😊 Keep spreading those positive vibes, one smile at a time! 🌟 #SmilesAreContagious"
5 months ago
Share →: And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Commentary:
"Looks like I'll have to rely on good old hard work and dedication instead of winning the lottery 🤷‍♂️💸 Here's to another week of being fabulously not-rich! 🥳 #HustleHard #MaybeNextTime"