156 Funny misunderstanding quotes

• A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

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  2 months ago

  1794, 1994, around, asked, bad, birth, date, date of birth, delivery, delivery driver, driver, french, French Revolution, historical, historical joke, humor, i, joke, just, mate, misunderstanding, oh, revolution, right, said, sorry

• My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

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  2 months ago

  asked, back, came, funny moment, glasses, happening, humor, i, joke, left, literally, misunderstanding, moment, parenting, room, said, today, toddler, zoo

• As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

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  2 months ago

  flirting, gender, gender stereotype, humor, job, kindness, man, mistake, misunderstanding, stereotype

• When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

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  2 months ago

  childhood, going, humor, i, kid, little, market, meant, memory, misunderstanding, nursery, nursery rhyme, pig, rhyme, shopping, think, used

• Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

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  2 months ago

  argument, babe, bait, communication, conversation, humor, i, misunderstanding, okay, partner, playful, relationship

• I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

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  2 months ago

  apology, humor, i, last, last one, mistake, misunderstanding, sorry, straw, straws, thought

• My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

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  2 months ago

  Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday

• I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

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  2 months ago

  chore, cleaning, confusion, dish, dishes, dishwasher, dishwasher tablet, doing, feel, five, humor, i, idea, joke, misunderstanding, still, tablet, taken, work

• I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

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  2 months ago

  asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks

• People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

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  2 months ago

  decimal, difference, humor, joke, math, math humor, missing, misunderstanding, number, numbers, people, point, pun, tell, whole, wordplay

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