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96 Funny myself quotes

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

3 months ago

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

3 months ago

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

3 months ago

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

3 months ago

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

3 months ago

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

3 months ago

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

3 months ago

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

3 months ago

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

3 months ago

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

3 months ago

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

3 months ago

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

3 months ago

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

3 months ago

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

3 months ago

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

3 months ago

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

3 months ago

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

3 months ago

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

3 months ago

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

3 months ago