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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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54 Funny news quotes

Funny news quotes are your ticket to a lighter look at the headlines that shape our world! πŸ“°πŸ˜‚ Whether poking fun at the latest breaking stories or adding a humorous twist to everyday events, these quotes will have you chuckling as you catch up on the news. Dive into the lighter side of journalism with these funny news quotes and let the laughter begin! πŸ˜„πŸ“£

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Posted on6 months ago

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Posted onFeb 23, 2025Feb 23, 2025

To everyone who wrote β€œstay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Posted onFeb 20, 2025Feb 20, 2025

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Posted onFeb 16, 2025Feb 16, 2025

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Posted onFeb 11, 2025Feb 11, 2025

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Posted onFeb 10, 2025Feb 10, 2025

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Posted onFeb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Posted onJan 29, 2025

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Posted onJan 28, 2025

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Posted onJan 26, 2025

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Posted onJan 26, 2025

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Posted onJan 26, 2025

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