82 Funny open quotes

• No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

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  1 week ago

  another, area, career, error, error message, found, humor, job, job posting, job search, message, open, please, poet, posting, search, try, warrior, warrior poet

• Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

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  1 week ago

  advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want

• If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

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  1 week ago

  across, door, doors, game, gap, gaps, girlfriend, humor, i, level, lever, love, me, open, pull, puzzle-solving, relationship, throw, tiny, tiny girlfriend, video, video game

• The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

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  1 week ago

  best, failing, forgetfulness, gift, having, humor, memory, open, present, presents, self-gift, surprise, time, wrap, yourself

• We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

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  1 week ago

  able, drawer, everyday, everyday life, frustration, fun, humor, keep, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, masher, obstacle, open, playful, playful obstacle, potato, potato masher, sometimes, tool

• SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

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  1 week ago

  app, casino, design, every, experience, feels, game, game design, much, online, online shopping, open, Shein, shopping, shopping app, time, too, user, user experience

• I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

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  1 week ago

  frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using

• How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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  1 week ago

  corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life

• Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

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  1 week ago

  around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk

• It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

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  1 week ago

  crazy, entertaining, entertainment, epigenetic, epigenetic memory, fire, memory, open, open fire, real, shit, stare

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