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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Just landed via YouTube:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just shared via Messenger:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Just shared via Messenger:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Live now on Twitch:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Live now on Twitch:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Making waves on Threads:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

18 Funny seems quotes

Funny seems quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 😄 and a twist of irony 🤪 to your day! Whether you’re feeling a little confused 🤔 or just love clever wordplay 🧠, these witty gems will have you chuckling in no time 😂. Ready to brighten your mood and share some laughs? Let’s dive into the quirky world of funny seems quotes! 🎉✨

New funny seems quotes 👇

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

5 days ago

depends, fairness, future, growth, humor, irony, me, personal, personal growth, responsibility, seems, self, unfair
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

6 days ago

5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water
It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

6 days ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want
What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

6 days ago

90s, 90s movie, Christmas, Christmas party, corporate, corporate party, culture, exist, holiday, holiday party, huge, movie, nostalgia, office, office culture, party, seems
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

7 days ago

achy, Achy Breaky Heart, bad, bad day, breaky, country, country music, dance, day, heart, humor, just, line, line dance, matter, music, remember, seems, someone
I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

1 week ago

commentary, digital, digital life, helping, humor, i, internet, irony, life, online, seems, should, social, social commentary, society, spend, technology, think, time, try
So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

1 week ago

daily, daily life, day, every, existential, frustration, humor, humor quote, just, keep, life, life struggle, living, me, monotony, sarcasm, scam, seems, struggle, telling
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

1 week ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

1 week ago

asshole, attitude, being, comedy, full-time, full-time job, humor, job, personality, sarcasm, seems, workplace
Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

1 week ago

adult, baby, dark, dark humor, gratuitous, Hitler, humor, just, kill, machine, seems, time, time machine, young, young adult

For even more funny seems quotes, hit next 👇

All funny seems quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

66 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

94 shares on Slack this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

68 shares on X this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Just shared via Discord:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Seen just now on X:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

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