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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

40 seconds ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

The future is buffering.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Spotted on Facebook:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Making waves on Discord:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Home » Funny Thoughts Quotes

65 Funny thoughts quotes

Funny thoughts quotes 🤔🤣 are your perfect companions for a dose of daily giggles 🤗 and unexpected smiles! They sprinkle humor into the mundane, turning ordinary moments into laugh-worthy memories. Whether you’re in need of a chuckle or a witty comeback 😜, these quirky nuggets of wisdom are bound to lift your spirits and tickle your funny bone. So, dive in, and let the hilarity ensue! 😂✨

New funny thoughts quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Commentary:
Sending buttered thoughts your way 🧈😂 Stay strong in the face of crumby adversity!
1 week ago
Share →: Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Commentary:
When she's sure she knows your feelings better than you do, it's like she's got a PhD in Mind Reading-ology 😂🧠📚
2 weeks ago
Share →: The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Commentary:
Sounds like I've reached the advanced level of mental gymnastics 🤔😂 #MasterMind 🌟🧠
2 weeks ago
Share →: Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Commentary:
Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯
2 weeks ago
Share →: Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Commentary:
"When the snooze button and I have a toxic relationship. 🛌⏰😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Commentary:
"When your brain becomes the unintentional comedian and suddenly you're the star of the awkward show! 😂🤦‍♂️"}
3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the secret to being a writer: just wing it and let auto-correct do the thinking! 📚🧠✍️😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Commentary:
"Working from mind today! 🧠📞 Guess that means I’m always 'on call' 😉✨"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"

For even more funny thoughts quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thoughts quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

40 seconds ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Just shared via Telegram:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Trending via Messenger:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

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