74 Funny thoughts quotes

• Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

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  4 weeks ago

  after, back, colleague, exhaustion, forever, humor, lads, leisure, mistake, prayer, prayers, reason, return, thinking, thoughts, tomorrow, us, work

• I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

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  4 weeks ago

  cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit

• Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

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  4 weeks ago

  employment, full-time, humor, job, list, lists, load, making, mental, mental load, productivity, think, thinking, thought, thoughts, work

• Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

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  4 weeks ago

  babe, communication, humor, manic, manic thought, media, relationship, social, social media, thought, thoughts, today, tweet, wrong

• I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

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  4 weeks ago

  butter, complaint, crumb, crumbs, difficult, difficult time, family, humor, keep, leave, me, please, thoughts, time, visiting, visitor

• Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

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  4 weeks ago

  explain, explanation, feelings, humor, just, misunderstanding, thoughts, woman, womansplaining, wrong

• The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

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  4 weeks ago

  amount, concern, concerning, humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate thoughts, little, mental, mental state, self-awareness, state, thoughts

• Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

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  4 weeks ago

  consequence, domestic, domestic life, doorbell, electrician, electrocution, fixing, got, hear, hearing, hearing thoughts, humor, i, life, mishap, relationship, should, thinking, thoughts, unexpected, unexpected consequence, while

• Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

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  4 weeks ago

  always, before, chat, conversation, daydream, even, going, head, humor, i, inner, inner thoughts, internet, introvert, little, mental, mental conversation, mind, self-talk, side, solitude, thoughts

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

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  4 weeks ago

  asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish

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