Funny quotes time Page 2

562 Funny time quotes

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

1 month ago

Later is the best time to do anything.

1 month ago

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

1 month ago

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

1 month ago

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

1 month ago

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

1 month ago

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

1 month ago

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

1 month ago

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

1 month ago

Time machine? You mean a clock?

1 month ago

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

1 month ago

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

1 month ago

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

1 month ago

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

1 month ago

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

1 month ago

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

1 month ago

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

1 month ago

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

1 month ago

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

1 month ago

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

1 month ago

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

1 month ago

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

1 month ago

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

1 month ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

1 month ago

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

1 month ago

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

1 month ago

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

1 month ago

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

1 month ago

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

1 month ago

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

1 month ago