41 Funny top quotes

• It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

• Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  competition, girlfriend, humor, listener, maybe, music, next, relationship, should, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, top, try, wrapped, year

• Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  90, blue, blue light, car, crazy, driving, enforcement, going, law, law enforcement, light, lights, lol, me, police, red, red light, sarcasm, speeding, stupid, tailgate, top, traffic, while

• Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  actually, being, cherry, cherry on top, confidence, ever, genius, girl, humor, just, love, self, self-love, sexy, sweet, sweet girl, sweetest, top

• Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  always, cherry, dumb, health, health risk, humor, kazoo, lead, lead poisoning, looks, poisoning, risk, sarcastic, smoking, top, vaping

• If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  food, humor, italian, Italian food, lasagna, pizza, put, stacking, still, top, wordplay

• It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  bet, humor, i, leg, magic, post, posture, reading, top

• As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apologize, apology, daughter, era, family, family relationship, fashion, fashion era, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, jean, jeans, low-rise, low-rise jean, parent, parents, relationship, teenage, teenage daughter, top, tube, tube top

• Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world

• Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry

All funny top quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌