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21 Funny top quotes

Trending Funny Top Quotes 🔥

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.
I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.
Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.
My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.
If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

New funny top quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like cats are actually just little overgrown fur hats with secret listening abilities! 🎩🐱 Maybe they're silently judging us from above, pretending they don’t hear a thing. 😹👂✨
2 months ago
Share →: One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Commentary:
Ah, the sacred burner hierarchy — where every adult secretly has a favored flame and no one dares admit it! 🔥🍳 It’s the unsung hero of our kitchens, quietly stealing the spotlight during dinner prep. Guess what? Your favorite burner is probably just as unique as your weirdest quirks. Keep it on the down-low, but don’t be surprised if it’s the one tucked right next to your coffee mug! ☕😉
2 months ago
Share →: King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Commentary:
"Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues
3 months ago
Share →: I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your morning commute? ☕🚗 Give it a try and watch the waves come pouring in! Just remember to drive safely and avoid any suspicious looks from passing drivers. 😄"
3 months ago
Share →: My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's muffin top decided to level up and go all out for the celebration! Who needs a small treat when you can have the whole cake, right? Time to celebrate every inch of that delicious birthday cake body!
4 months ago
Share →: We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Commentary:
"Who needs April Fools Day when reality is delivering pranks on a daily basis? 😂🃏 Let's just sit back, grab some popcorn, and watch the world put on its own ridiculous show! 🍿🌎 #2020GotJokes"
5 months ago
Share →: Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems
5 months ago
Share →: I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'pile-based approach' to fashion – truly avant-garde! 🤔👚🤷‍♂️ Who needs closets when you have a curated 'floor-robe'! 💁‍♀️👖 #FashionistaGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Commentary:
🤣🏙️ "In a world where chaos reigns and logic takes a backseat, welcome to 'The Dewey Decimated Decimal System'! Who needs mayors and governors when you have a librarian armed with overdue fines and shushing powers ready to bring order to the city? Tune in as our unlikely hero battles late fees and unruly citizens in this unforgettable sitcom where the only crime is not returning your books on time!" 📚🕶️
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Commentary:
Well, it's all about the half-naked life, isn't it? 🦆 Who knew that the biggest obstacle to becoming a cartoon duck would be pants? 🩳 Just imagine Donald Duck strutting around commando style – now that would be a quacktastic sight! 😂 This quote really quacks me up!