56 Funny wanted quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”
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  4 months ago

  View →: I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.
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  5 months ago

  View →: She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.
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  5 months ago

  View →: As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

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