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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

53 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Trending via Reddit:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Live now on Facebook:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Making waves on X:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Home » Funny Wanted Quotes

63 Funny wanted quotes

Funny wanted quotes 🎯 add a dash of humor to the usual “help wanted” signs, turning them into a delightful surprise 🎉. Perfect for grabbing attention in a lighthearted way, these quotes transform mundane ads into memorable messages 🤣. Whether you’re seeking a partner in crime for office pranks or a fellow pizza enthusiast 🍕, these witty lines combine creativity with charm, ensuring you attract the most amusing candidates 😄. Get ready to hire with a grin!

New funny wanted quotes 👇

19 hours ago
Share →: Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Commentary:
Sounds like Google took astrology a bit too seriously! 😂🔮📉
6 days ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist 😂❤️
1 week ago
Share →: I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Commentary:
Guess I missed my calling as a professional couch tester 😂🛋️🧠
1 week ago
Share →: My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Commentary:
Looks like someone finally found the perfect recipe for peace and quiet this Mother's Day! 🔑🚪😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Commentary:
"Who knew dreams would come true and battery life would still be the ultimate nemesis? 📱🔋😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Commentary:
"Teen logic: Mastering the art of reverse psychology since day one! 🤔🙃 #RebelWithoutACause"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true hero of social media—fighting oversharing one week at a time! 🦸‍♂️📉😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃‍♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Commentary:
When punctuality takes a backseat to personal flair 🚦😎—because who needs a schedule when you’ve got style? 😂⏰ #LateAndLovingIt
3 months ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Commentary:
"Work smarter, not harder… or just leave early! 😂💼 Don't worry, it's never too late to embrace your inner 'early leaver' dreams! 🕒👩‍💼 #WorkLifeBalanceGoals"

For even more funny wanted quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wanted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

53 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Live now on Facebook:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Spotted on Facebook:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Shared recently on Threads:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Just shared via Instagram:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Just landed via Discord:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

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