Funny quotes wanted

54 Funny wanted quotes

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

2 weeks ago

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

1 month ago

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

2 months ago

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

2 months ago

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

3 months ago

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

3 months ago

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

3 months ago

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

3 months ago

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

3 months ago

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

3 months ago

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

3 months ago

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

3 months ago

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

3 months ago

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

3 months ago

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

3 months ago

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

3 months ago

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

3 months ago

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

3 months ago

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

3 months ago

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

3 months ago