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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

40 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Spotted on Discord:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Freshly posted on X:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Spotted on X:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just shared via Telegram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Reported on Discord:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Just shared via Telegram:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Home » Funny Anyone Quotes

30 Funny anyone quotes

Funny anyone quotes 😂 are like little bursts of joy that tickle your brain and leave you grinning from ear to ear! 😄 Whether it’s a witty one-liner or a clever twist, these quotes have the magical ability to brighten your day and lighten your mood. 🌟 Perfect for sharing with friends or keeping in your back pocket for a rainy day, they’re the ultimate pick-me-up that proves laughter truly is the best medicine! 🤣

New funny anyone quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Commentary:
When your surgical assistant goes on a coffee break mid-surgery 😂🫀☕️
7 days ago
Share →: Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
7 days ago
Share →: Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Commentary:
Just tried, but my life settings menu glitched and only offers "Insane Mode"! 🎮😅✨
1 week ago
Share →: Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Commentary:
Putting up motivational blockers like a pro! 🚫🔊🤣
1 week ago
Share →: Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Commentary:
Dr. Pepper: doing more than quenching thirst, possibly inspecting the fizz! 🤔🩺😂
1 week ago
Share →: Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Commentary:
Embrace your inner legend with confidence! Reality is overrated! 😎✨📚
1 week ago
Share →: If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Commentary:
Remember, if they're still poking, they're probably OK! 😆👵📱
1 week ago
Share →: “Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Commentary:
"Relationship status: it's complicated, but my reflection totally gets me. 🙄💔😂 #MirrorMate"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Commentary:
"Want to master humility? Just follow my lead—I'm the best at being humble! 😎🙌 #HumbleBrag"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"

For even more funny anyone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny anyone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

40 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Going viral on Messenger:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Making waves on WeChat:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Seen just now on Threads:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Going viral on Telegram:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Live now on Snapchat:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

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