Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Live now on Snapchat:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Going viral on Twitch:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Making waves on TikTok:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just landed via Messenger:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Trending via X:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Going viral on X:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

93 Funny anyone quotes

Funny anyone quotes 😂 are like little bursts of joy that tickle your brain and leave you grinning from ear to ear! 😄 Whether it’s a witty one-liner or a clever twist, these quotes have the magical ability to brighten your day and lighten your mood. 🌟 Perfect for sharing with friends or keeping in your back pocket for a rainy day, they’re the ultimate pick-me-up that proves laughter truly is the best medicine! 🤣

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

78 shares on Discord this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

41 shares on TikTok this month:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Going bananas on X:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Trending via WeChat:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Going viral on YouTube:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Breaking via Slack:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

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