39 Funny contact quotes

• When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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  2 months ago

  answer, ask, better, confidence, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, response, sarcasm, social, social interaction, weekend, witty, witty response, yours

• Farting, but with eye contact.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction

• Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

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  2 months ago

  after, afterlife, answer, board, communication, contact, die, even, ghost, humor, i, me, ouija, Ouija Board, technology, texts

• Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

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  2 months ago

  accomplish, apps, communication, contact, dating, frustration, hours, humor, i, ID, nothing, relationship, someone, support, talk, tech, thanks, wanted

• Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

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  2 months ago

  alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction

• My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

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  2 months ago

  advice, communication, contact, contradiction, direct, eye, eye contact, favorite, frustration, give, humor, i, just, listen, listening, me, opposite, parenting, talking, teens, understanding

• Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

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  2 months ago

  childhood, contact, having, hobby, house, humor, introvert, isolation, leaving, people, punishment, social

• My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

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  2 months ago

  believe, contact, dog, eye, eye contact, humor, just, me, nap, pet

• If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

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  2 months ago

  account, bank, bank account, contact, humor, i, me, money, reach

• Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

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  2 months ago

  contact, day, device, every, house, humor, i, Interpol, irony, location, login, me, much, new, oh, phone, sarcasm, say, single, thank, warning

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